Oh, and..

British Davey is apparently still pissed off at me for talking to the clocks or something, I don't know.

Don't care, but somehow he's back in my life again.

-1 +1

that's like a fail.

And, I figured out(with the help of Maria) that Christian is asking me out to prom.

YAY!

Dress figuring-out time.

I told you so, Tina. I told you so...

Well, this was well played out.

He has a girlfriend now. It's not me.

I should never trust myself into falling for someone... at all.

It's so disappointing how I fall for someone, I get hurt in a way.

;lsdaslkdsakdslksalksdaskldalkdj

In other news, I'm pretty sure he found this blog by himself.

I wouldn't be surprised, I did confess that I have a blogspot.

Just never gave him the link, but he has his internet skills.

Yeah.

Message for you, if you have found it:

Don't feel bad. It's not worth it.

Beowulf

Beowulf was a hero to many people. He sailed to Denmark, with a small amount of men, determined to defeat a dragon that has bothered the city for many years. The night Beowulf and his men arrived, Grendel had begun attacking… leaving the men incapable of fighting. Beowulf takes the stand and battles against Grendel. During the battle, Beowulf rips off Grendel’s arm, injuring him, and Grendel soon dies. Nowadays, there are many heroes… most risking their lives, one of which, is Jeff Hardy. There are many ways to describe Jeff Hardy. He is an artist, a musician, and one of the greatest professional wrestlers there is and was… and like many people in the world today, he has experienced the life of being intoxicated by illegal substances. Despite all the negative aspects he has in life, he will always seem powerful in the professional wrestling world.

Jeff Hardy is known for his artistic works, and highflying moves, like jumping off thirty feet off the ground. He risked his life and sacrificed his body doing things he’s always wanted to pursue in life since he was a child. In 2003, he was fired from his professional wrestling career due to drugs, giving him a bad reputation until his return. Upon his return, Jeff had made it back to the top of his career without any illegal substances. Similarly, Beowulf put his life on the line to protect the kingdom he sought out to protect from Grendel. Moreover he defeated an additional monster, Grendel’s mother, to protect the kingdom from future potential harm, just like Jeff Hardy and his achievements in life.

In spite of their connections, they have differences also. As an example, Beowulf would boast about his past achievements and evoked envy and malice from many men. On the other hand, Jeff Hardy is not one to boast about his past achievements, but he is one to aim higher every time he achieves something. Their personalities might differ from one another, but their physical abilities are similar.

To sum up, what we define heroic now is different from what people from the Anglo-Saxon period define heroic. Beowulf is considered to be an epic hero for his bravery and courage to defeat Grendel and his mother. Jeff Hardy has had his downfalls in his life, but that does not add up to the many things he has achieved in life and what he did for others out there in the world. He is called a hero because of his dedication towards his career. He gave up on so much just to be able to make it to the top in the professional wrestling world. There are differences between Jeff Hardy and Beowulf, but what they have in common is what they are considered heroic in modern life.

So, I met a boy.

I wouldn't say 'met' since it's online, but it pretty much is. We met through DeviantArt.

It's quite... amazing, to be honest. I get to know him more and more everyday and every time I know a little more about him, the more common of interests and how alike we are. It's weird and quite freaky.

His name is David, just like British Davey... the "ex", while he has two ex's named "Christina", Tina for nicknames. We both love weird stuff, we're both pretty immature, love indie music, have no outside life because we're both pretty much socially awkward, love motorcycles, True Blood, photography and the same shade of green. It's pretty fucking creepy at the moment. Not gonna lie.

I'm totally falling into this rabbit hole, I don't know when I'm coming back up... I'm deathly afraid of what's going to happen once I hit the ground, but that's life, I guess. You'll never know what's going to happen once you hit the ground. Either you break something, get something broken or you're completely fine. It's all a mystery.

Other good news:

I have stopped talking to British Davey and I have stopped liking Johnny. About time, I know.

A new set of rules for my behavior? What?

No distractions of boys in any way.

That's renewed, considering the fact that I had let myself down for distracting myself.

In other note, I'm going to continue to be "the careless bitch" that people now calls me since I've changed. Oh, I love this careless bitch. I think I may marry her.

New lifestyle. New personality. New behavior.

I love it lots.

I haven't posted in a long time.

It's because I haven't had things to think about... and now, I, unfortunately do...

Why? Well, recently, I've had a distraction. Yeah, yeah. I know.

"Distractions are bad for you!"

I wish I had gotten myself less... what's the word... pathetic and vulnerable. I find it very difficult to understand why I decided to give myself such a distraction... especially on my last year of high school.

I guess, what's done is done. Goodbye distraction, I won't be needing you in my life anymore.

Back to the normal life I had. The single life. The one where I have school girl crushes on celebrities and not real people.

I really have no excuse on why or how I did such a thing to myself. I am ashamed and embarrassed for myself.

Goes to show: Never trust the person that's not your best friend. They're just your distractions.

Goodnight, readers.

It's been so, so long.

Raina has gotten me into Tumblr due to some Harry Potter related posts on Tumblr.

But I have not forgotten this site, this is my "super secret" website, and I will always vent on here when I want to.

Right now, I'm here to vent. As always.

It's not just long speeches right now, it's plainly venting.

I guess this is a diary... but less private.

But I will end up with this fact in a question form:

Why do I always feel so... jealous(?) when two of my very good friends are talking when I don't want them to??

I'm such an unfair human being.